Elon Kihumulo, a Teacher, Psychologist and Founder of Family Comfort Foundation explained that women have an intense role in mothering and nurturing men into husbands amidst the wake of feminism.
Appearing on The Groove Cafe with Sarah, Kihumulo referred to herself as a born psychologist, saying her therapy journey began unconsciously as a Fine Arts teacher and at her fashion designing job where she often gave premarital counseling to clients. This made clients refer other couples with marital issues to her hence the formation of Family Comfort Foundation.
After taking the advice of a friend to acquire professional knowledge in psychology, she enrolled in the School of Psychology at Makerere University in which her first research was centered on the challenges boys go through, an eye opening experience that made her realize that boys were more at stake than girls, especially in the rise of feminism.
“Women are prepared to be women in future and much emphasis is put on their rights, however boys are being left out in due course and it’s making it hard for them to be nurtured even at school and other institutions. Our boys are supposed to be trained to become men but because no one cares about their rights, they do not attract a lot of attention, yet as society we have a lot of demands from them.”
According to her, the rise of feminism in the late 18th century got her understanding that men are in more danger living in masculine confusion yet masculinity was a status given to them by God and society, making them somewhat superior to women.
“When slave trade and the world wars affected the male to female ratio, women became educated and started to work after companies ran short of labor, prompting the fight for equality among women who were working the way men were, resulting into confusion of how men should live and handle the emancipated women.”
However Sarah, the guest host of show, was curious to know why women, unlike men, have stood up for themselves to fight against the injustices against them such as inequality, the rights of girls to stay in school, early marriages or genital mutilation; while men never rise up to fight for their rights and demands.
The Psychologist responded that the men find fighting for their rights belittling due to their manly egos. “This is going to be a challenge for the current batch of elite women who might fail to get married because whoever is willing to settle for marriage will have to take the position of mothering their husband and teaching them how to become husbands. This comes without difficulty since most men feel they are husbands and unless a woman takes on the role to nurture them into men, a woman won't get married.”
Sarah, concerned, asked Kihumulo whether wasn't isn't too much work for women to handle in relationships.
“It is but a woman has to choose to either keep their man and try to understand them. It takes a good level of patience and the woman has to love, care and create a secure ground for men to share their feelings. Because most times we blame men, yet in reality no one has trained them into becoming so,” she answered.
Talking about Family Comfort Foundation, Kihumulo said that having had marital challenges herself with a long distance husband and her desire to make a lasting marriage, on listening to other people’s marriage struggles, they sounded way simpler in comparison to hers and before she realized, the advice she was offering them was working out for the families.
“The foundation over time expanded to offering family therapy to parents, children, maids, single parents, divorcees and marrieds, as well as premarital counseling, mentorship and motivational programs in schools.”
From her efforts, she was selected among the Task Force to keep children in school after getting called upon as one of the NGO’s to encourage learners to study by the Uganda National Students Association. In the campaign, they bring children back to school with constant isolation and testing, understanding and learning to live with Covid-19 including pregnant girls, child mothers and fathers since according to her the children can only be safe in school.
The Groove Cafe with Crystal Newman airs every Weekday from 4-5pm on RX Radio.
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