Pr. Henry Kibirige, the CEO of Sofos Consult Limited, a marriage counselor and relationship therapist has given one of the reasons for loneliness as people searching for the right partner when they aren't right themselves.
The Pastor was hosted on RX Radio’s Groove Café where he made the remarks while talking about marriage and how to find the "right partner".
Aside from mentioning that God directs one to the right person, he said that one has to do the work within themselves before finding a person to settle down with.
He narrated that he was surprised by a couple that reached out to him after years of marriage and having three children and still wanted to stay married to each other while most people opt to quit weeks into a marriage.
“This all goes down to finding and not just that but also being the right person. Many people are on a hunt for the right person but they are not right. So, when they find the right person, that person doesn't find them right. And when you find yourself in a wrong relationship, before you judge the person you were with, begin with yourself.
He further said, “Chances are that there’s something about you that led you to that person. So first work on yourself because if you're right and you meet the wrong person, chances are the person won't stay in your life.”
As a church leader, he said that if someone can't find help in the church concerning issues such as loneliness, anxiety and depression they could seek professional help from elsewhere.
“Many people feel embarrassed to see a marriage counselor because their assumption is that everyone will know they have marital issues and yet, I've always told them that even as a marriage counselor, I too experience marital misunderstandings and seek help from other people. Sometimes I need someone to tell me the very things I tell others,” he added.
He argued that sometimes professionals also need help. Doctors need to get treated by other doctors. Psychiatrists and therapists also seek help from others because they are human.
Furthermore, Pastor Henry argued that many people are in the church and are lonely because they don't want to do for others what they want done for them.
“A lot of people in church are lonely and depressed because they only think about themselves. Some people say; "no one loves me," but, whom do YOU love? Go out and tell people you love them. You want a hug, go out and give someone a hug. "No one is talking to me"... whom have YOU talked to? People only remember the church congregation when they want to exchange vows and want attendance, but how many wedding meetings have you attended?”
The relationship counselor said that it's important to contribute to the success or happiness of others because those are the very people one will need when the coin is flipped.
The Fatboy show is hosted by James Onen aka Fatboy, Olive and Sarah every weekday from 6am to 10am on RX Radio.