According to James Onen aka Fatboy, many relationships fall apart because people think it's supposed to be a bond that flows naturally without having to put in much work.
“Many people make the mistake of thinking that once you find the person, it's a done deal. No further effort needed, and that it should just stay static like that. They think that you'll just have to wake up every morning still feeling the same way about that person and them feeling the same way. And if there’s any change, they are not the one,” said Fatboy.
He made the statements during Tuesday’s The Fatboy Show when trying to answer the question of ‘how one knows that their dating partner is the one’.
In her opinion, The Fatboy Show co-host Olive Najjuma said that at the beginning of relationships, lovers may be infatuated with each other and experience high end emotions they had never had before.
However, after the phase is done, she explained that the ability to have a friendship as a couple to her is proof that both partners are meant for each other.
“Personally, when I realize that I enjoy your company, we agree to disagree on somethings without having a massive fight, when you have your life and I have mine and you don't have to clone yourself into my activities and hobbies, then I can be like, ‘yeah, this guy can hold his own and could be the one’,”said Olive.
She referred to couples that have been married for over 10 years who always point to letting each other have and enjoy their own individual lives in addition to regular dates.
She said, “Justin Timberlake’s wife was recently asked what has kept them married for 15 years and she gave credit to Justin for telling her that they should never stop dating. But most guys marry chics and when you ask them when they last went on a date together, they're like everytime they go out, they go with the kids.”
In his viewpoint however, Fatboy said that the question baffles him because as an introverted person, at the beginning of a relationship, it may not be difficult to go out his way and try to meet the expectations of his girlfriend, but his worry was that he doesn't know how much he can do to keep someone interested for a longer period of time without them getting bored.
His co-host answered that, “you can easily find each other boring and it's partly why relationships fail because there’s no flame anymore. But it's about two people being intentional. If I used to take her out once a week, I need to continue doing that. If you used to cook for him in the beginning, don't stop cooking and if you can't make it up to each other, have a conversation about it like, babe I’ll be busy this week but I’ll cook for you over the weekend.”
The Fatboy show is hosted by James Onen aka Fatboy, Olive and Sarah every weekday from 6am to 10am on RX Radio.