Many women have a hard time finding love in their 30’s or above because most times they come as packages, with children, that their dating partner has to appreciate when they come into their lives.
This is also true for men who have children, where a lot of women will drift away from coming into their picture.
On the Fatboy Show today, presenter Olive Najjuma said that a dating partner shouldn’t be compelled to take on the responsibility of mothering or fathering their partner’s children.
This was in response to the view that most people avoid dating single parents because it involves raising their partner’s children, something that Olive says shouldn't be a deal breaker for them.
“Raising children is not a walk in the park, and if their biological dads left, why should you compel another man to mandatorily take care of your children as if they do not have a father?” She asked.
Although to most single mothers, their children are part of the pre-qualifications for dating or marrying them, Olive Najjuma believed that before a new partner takes on full responsibility of supporting them financially it should be after a thorough discussion and agreement between both partners.
She asked that, “to what extent do you want this man to be a part of your children? Most single mothers even in a new marriage don't want to leave their children behind. So if you are living together with her children, you’ll be expected to not just tolerate them, but be a little involved in their lives. However, must you pay their school fees or take on all their responsibilities as a father? I think that has to be discussed deeply by both partners.”
Her co-host James Onen aka Fatboy wondered if sharing responsibility, especially financial, isn't part of the assistance single mothers expect from their partners. But Olive, in counter argument, said that the woman could have the money to take care of her children and the man’s responsibility would be to be a father figure to the children.
Fatboy then urged single mothers to have their partners take legal action of adoption if they are willing to actively take part in the financial responsibility of their partner’s children. However, he also averred that there should be an avenue for the man to retain his finances should the relationship end if he wants to so that both parties can part on an equal.
The Fatboy show is hosted by James Onen aka Fatboy, Olive and Sarah every weekday from 6am to 10am on RX Radio.