Olive Najjuma and James Onen explored the question of whether love should always be a sacrifice. Olive opined that it somewhat depends on the sacrifice she has to make for the relationship to prosper.
She acknowledged that although a lot of compromises need to be made amongst both partners if they are willing to accommodate each other, one has to be careful not to make sacrifices that they won't manage to keep up with.
“The moment we start being serious and you tell me that I can't have male friends?!! I could have had this friend for over 20 years and it's purely platonic. This is someone who has been there for me and we have a good friendship. If it was a friendship I'd formed a couple of months or years ago and it's not really deep, that I can let it go,” she said.
She however noted that approach matters between the lovers and a question of sacrifice has to be framed as a request and not a demand.
“If you came and told me that I can't be friends with guys and if we are to stay together, I have to cut off certain people, dude, take a bow." I'd never make similar demands. When you come into someone’s life, you don't want to change them, you want to love them as they are. I’ll only make such a demand, if her involvement in our relationship is disastrous, like when she makes certain important decisions on his behalf.”
Fatboy added that sometimes a person may insist on one changing certain habits about them such as drinking, smoking, going to strip clubs and indeed, when the other party does sacrifice those things, they turn out to be happy having made those choices.
He went on to ask Olive whether she would take sacrifices if her partner asked for certain bedroom positions that she isn't comfortable with…
“No,no,no, everything has to be within comfort to a certain degree,” she answered, “Because if he’s asking me to change certain things, Is he gonna change the things I might ask him to? There are things we should never set as terms for people to stay in our lives. Some can be adopted, others can be too extreme, so one needs to establish boundaries.”
The Fatboy show is hosted by James Onen aka Fatboy, Olive and Sarah every weekday from 6am to 10am on RX Radio.
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