Many people believe in fresh starts when getting into new relationships. They rarely pay attention to each other’s past.
Today on The Fatboy Show, the question lay; how deep should one dive into their partner's past? How important is it?
Olive Najjuma, had mixed feelings about it all, saying that if a person asked her about her body count she wouldn't disclose the information because “it's none of their business”.
She said, “The only ex I count is the father of my children, the rest, I don't know about. She added, “women never share their body count because society will label them - slut,”
Apart from withholding this very personal information, she said that she would be interested in knowing her partner's past if they are to consider a long term relationship. Are these double standards?
“Let's say you've been married before, you got divorced and you want to marry me, I want to know why your marriage ended. Was it your fault? was it hers? That way, I am guided in making a decision. That's the only time I’m going to ask a man about his past relationships,” she said.
James Onen, says that anything negative a person may say about their ex partner reflects poorly on who they are as a person, and the type of dysfunction they attract especially if they have been getting people that have similar "bad" traits.
“As a man, the biggest red flag is when a woman tells me she has been in so many abusive relationships. I'm like eeh, it seems like that's the type of men she likes. A man who is abusive will show all of the signs before the relationship gets serious and she had the opportunity to exit but chose to stay"
"If I start to date her and I'm the 'Mr. Nice' kind of guy, she will always find a problem with me. Many guys will listen to a girl's sob story about how she was mistreated by her terrible exes and when you come in as the Prince charming to rescue the damsel, before you know it, she’s running back to her exes and you are left wondering why…but what you didn't know is that when she was telling you about them, she was revealing to you her preference and you didn't listen.” he said.
However, Olive thought that it may not have been her preference but a sign to show that the person hadn't worked on themselves and tried to figure out why they attract such people. She therefore opined that that person is not self actualized and they need to do that before they join new relationships. As everyone should.
The Fatboy show is hosted by James Onen aka Fatboy, Olive and Sarah every weekday from 6am to 10am on RX Radio.