Much as most couples get married due to strong feelings of passion felt for each other, The Fatboy Show presenters Olive Najjuma and James Onen believe that that is a bad idea.
This, according to Olive, is because the intense feelings of love expire with time, and when they create the foundation of marriage, it does not last.
“You don't have to be with someone you hate, but if you can stand them and have a conversation with them, you can start there. You don't have to be in love with them,” said Olive.
Adding, “am not saying you should get with a person you hate, but is there mutual understanding, do you like them? Start with liking. You don't need to be madly in love with them. Falling in love is a bad idea, you need to just slip into it.”
She referred to Indian and the wealthy class type of marriages usually arranged by parents who choose marriage partners for their children. In her observations, they seem to thrive more than where partners got driven by their intense feelings.
James Onen, commonly known as Fatboy, similarly added that love-driven marriages end up like the ones of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett. He opined that Will Smith would have married someone he liked other than the one he madly loved.
Fatboy continued that sometimes people fall in love, get obsessed with their partners and become toxic when they feel that the same feelings aren't reciprocated, which sometimes makes them harm their partners.
Hence Olive regarded that when one thinks carefully about marriage, love is just a contributing factor but doesn’t make it work.
Asked what the considerations for marriage should then be, Olive replied, “mutual understanding, communication, and you must have some interests together and some goals you share.”
She added that the other factor to consider is a supportive partner of the other's dreams. “It doesn't mean that partners are always supposed to agree, but someone has to support you to some extent,” she said.
The Fatboy show is hosted by James Onen aka Fatboy, Olive, and Sarah every weekday from 6 am to 10 am on RX Radio.