Fatboy Show Presenters James Onen aka Fatboy and Daniel Omara have urged single mothers to avoid introducing their children to their lovers during the dating phase.
The Presenters gave advice during the show as they shared their experiences dating single mothers.
Fatboy narrated that once before when he was dating a single mother, their breakup was a dreadful experience to his then significant other’s children that he had bonded with.
“There was one instance in which a woman I was dating was quite keen on me being close to her children. It was almost like a qualifying factor and she needed to see that her kids and I could get along. I liked her enough to hang around her children and we did because she was kind of special and unique to me so I knew it was worth it.”
He continued, “Eventually we got some problems as couples do and separated. But it wasn't just a breakup with her but also with her children because I hung around them and we had bonded over time. When you see children often, you get fond of them because they are curious, adorable and fun. So when it doesn't work out with their mom, you cut off not just from her but the kids too. And for me in this instance, the kids would ask about me and she would have to look for excuses as to why I wouldn't come around.”
Daniel then came in to respond, saying that these kinds of instances are what have stopped him from dating single mothers despite the fact that he receives a lot of reprehension for his decision. Having studied child psychology, he understands how traumatic it is to childrenn in the event that there is a separation.
“I think the last person you should bring into the relationship should be the kids. Let your partner know that you have kids but don't bring them left right and center,” he said.
Fatboy agreed, adding that although it is tempting for most single mothers to make sure their partner will accept them and their children, it later turns out heartbreaking for the latter who end up missing the father figure in their lives; and is also an injustice to the man who had put in his effort and time to bond with them.
In response, Daniel said, “Sometimes such a situation might end up guilt tripping a man to stay in a toxic relationship for the child’s mental health and such circumstances make me shun single mothers.” He advised single mothers to let their dating partners know they have children and the reaction from them will tell whether the person is okay with it or not.
After learning his lesson, Fatboy said that if he were to date a single mother again, he would stay away from her children as much as possible for their own psychology until the relationship evolved.
The Fatboy show is hosted by James Onen aka Fatboy, Olive and Sarah every weekday from 6am to 10am on RX Radio.