During the Hear Me Out Show today on RX Radio, Host Daniel Omara has advised women to refrain from giving out their phone contacts to men whom they just want to get rid off.
The topic came to his concern after a tweet he saw by a one ‘Mother Of Foodies’ which said, “I gave you my number because I wanted you to leave me alone, not because I'm interested.”
Wondering how confusing such a situation is to a man, Daniel said that in getting to understand, he found that a lot of women he interacted with concurred with this view which they defended is done to protect themselves from harassment that may come after rejection of a man’s advances.
He admitted that although there are men that can’t take rejection, most times it’s actually counter intuitive to think that exchanging contacts in any way is a form of repulsion.
“I’m trying to tell women that this doesn't make sense and its very confusing because giving away your contact actually saves you for a short time but puts you on the grid for the algorithm. Because the moment you exchange a number with the person, everything attached to it will pop up. All his socials are going to be updated with recommendations, from your Facebook to Instagram and even LinkedIn. In other words, you've handed this person access to your Google account,” he reasoned.
“A lot of guys are okay with a woman clearly refusing to give out their number I. Ladies, it's your right to say no. Don't give it out if you don't want to instead of putting yourself at risk of getting stalked,” he said.
The Presenter remarked that although there are incidents where one gives out their number for security reasons, this shouldn’t be used as an overall excuse for the habit. He gave an instance of when a woman could be walking home and a random guy asks for her number. Here, she can give it to him because of the fear of getting attacked given the fact that he could know where she stays.
He went on to propose easier ways of how women could politely turn down requests for their phone numbers from guys they wouldn't want to give it to:
Ask for his number instead
“This is confusing to an average guy who might think it's interesting for a woman to ask for his number. But most guys are very aware that you are taking it but she will never call, because as men we know that the average modern female will chase anything on this planet; career, cars, even risk losing her kidney in Dubai but not approach or call a man she likes. So we know you are taking the number to soften the blow which is a very simple and polite way to send a negative signal.”
Giving out a wrong number following it with ‘Don’t call it because all my phones are off now.’
He said that a man will also understand that they have been turned down but won’t cause a scenario because the woman in this case has used a classy and more amiable way of rejecting them.
Going full blown sexual
“I'm recommending this because it's a female friend that suggested it. When the guy asks for your number, your response could be, ‘So you want to smash? When and where?’ Now this might backfire but this friend said that men get intimidated by women that are outright slutty. However, this depends on who you are dealing with, especially the age bracket and status, this may not work for downtown guys and men in their early twenties that are all about smashing,” Daniel advised.
He also advised men to accept rejection when denied, especially in bars. He confessed that this rejection is what prompted his new year’s resolution of not taking female contacts, saying that sometimes he might take it but never call, going ahead to explain to women why this happens with other men too.
“The problem is we were probably in a bar and drunk guys will hardly remember your number. I won't call you simply because I forgot how I saved your contact, especially guys that have trouble with names. It's very common especially when you gave us a nickname so please give out your real names if you don't want a guy to forget. Or beep the number so that at least it's in his call records and will help us remember.”
He said that other times after getting sober, a man may scroll through a woman's social media pictures and realize it was just the influence of alcohol that made her look prettier than she actually is, causing him not to call. “I’m not being offensive but it’s the reality and ladies don't be offended by this because after all, we all rate each other,” the Presenter defended.
He further mentioned that if a man spends an exorbitant amount on the day he meets you, there is a likelihood that he will ghost you. “You meet a girl out, never knew her but she was nice. However, after you go home, you wake up to a message saying you blew 250K from your account and yet your budget was 100k. Then you think to yourself, I spent this on a chic I just met! So because you're aware you have to spend roughly the same every time you meet up for dates, you realize you can't afford her and never call.”
Other reasons he gave were having different social statuses, high energy that sometimes scares off men, busy schedules, and trusting their intuition that the person may have something wrong with them.
“And lastly, sometimes we might have bad intentions of only smashing yet you might be a nice person with a great personality that’s interested in a serious relationship. Realizing this makes us think that you deserve better than we had planned so we keep away from you and don't call. Ladies, you might not believe this but sometimes, it's that,” he concluded.
Hear Me Out is hosted by Daniel Omara every Saturday from 10am to Midday on RX Radio.
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