RX Radio presenter Olive Najjuma hosted guests Sarah Apollo and Jack Peter Sseruwo yesterday to debunk the myth of single mothers only being able to find love in married men.
Olive, the host of the show, picked the conversation from Facebook where a post she quoted read: ‘I can't date you, you are a married man; says a 37-year-old single mum of four to a married man who has all the qualities and capabilities of making her a second wife.’
Sarah, a single mum herself, said that society blames women for becoming single mothers yet they are the ones that decide to stay for the wellbeing of their child(ren) when the relationship fails.
“There’s a negative connotation that is put onto single mothers but I would like to break the term down into two; single mothers and mothers that are single. I don’t understand why society would stigmatize a parent who chose to stay.”
“Married men are not the only option for single mothers because these women also have standards. Relationships don't work out sometimes and you can find a healthy way to raise your child with another person if they want to be a part of your child's life,” Sarah added.
However, she also acknowledged the fact that married men possess the qualities that single mothers would want, for instance the concept of family, children and responsibility.
Seruwo additionally said that society views single mums as individuals who made mistakes and that single men aren't supposed to bear other people’s burden.
“It's hard to get into a relationship where a man is starting with children because most bachelors want to start out fresh then create and experience their own family just like how women picture a fairytale wedding,” he said.
However, he considered the fact that married men make better spouses to single mums because of their experience with children and family. He mentioned that married men will have most of the traits a single mother would be looking for in a partner, making it easy for them to find love in them.
Sarah, who considers herself a mother who is single, said that from her perspective a man that she would date is one with integrity, honesty and comprehension. She said that the ability for her and her partner to understand each other well and the type of love that is spoken about is the same one in 1st Corinthians 13: 4-5 in the Bible.
Nevertheless, Olive advised single mums to stop contextualising relationships based solely on their children, saying that their children are their life because this drives a man to think that he won't be prioritized in the relationships.
“It's still okay to let yourself be known as a mother but that is not the way you should present yourself,” she added.
Brunch Talk is hosted by Olive Najjuma Monica every Saturday from Midday to 1pm on RX Radio.