Today morning, James Onen said that his concept of a relationship is doing what's comfortable and convenient for him rather than trying to change himself to fit a woman’s expectations.
Fatboy made the statements during The Fatboy show with Co-host Lesham as they discussed how much men contribute to the increased number of failed relationships.
According to Lesham, romcom movies have alluded to men's perceptions of how love is supposed to be portrayed- first by creating conflict situations and later resolving them, giving an impression that it’s always going to be as easy as shown in the movies.
“This is the problem- a man will think he will chase a woman down, have a calm moment after which he will step out of line and when he apologizes, they will get back together. Hereafter, the woman will accept him for who he is and lower her standards from what she was originally expecting.”
However, Fatboy argued that men do these things because it's the women that like the drama, uncertainty and romance depicted in the movies which makes them apply this as what women want.
In his experience, when a relationship settles into a pattern, the actions of each partner become more predictable and this becomes boring for the woman who will eventually find ways to end the relationship.
“My current relationship policy that I wish I knew earlier in life is that I do me and live for myself and only go with what brings me the most comfort and convenience. If a woman is willing to be a part of me that way, then she is welcome,” he said.
He added, “But I think I'm past the stage of adapting to a woman’s expectations of me and obviously, it doesn't mean I get to always succeed; in that some will leave because of their expectations. If she starts feeling dissatisfied with me, then I would positively accept it as a relationship that has outlived its course and let her go chase what she wants.”
He commented that the irony in relationships makes women leave men that are willing to treat them nicely, in preference for dysfunctional relationships where the man is abusive emotionally and ill-behaved, saying that surprisingly the women in those relationships stay because of this drama.
However, Lesham argued that the “Mr. Right” mentality is what makes most men fail at relationships since women will have to question their niceness in entirety than a man who straightforwardly shows his honesty and reveals his real self and behaviors.
Fatboy, amused by this, considered this as a case of women not knowing what they want and being crazy for thinking a nice man is hideous, saying that whereas he opted to get insight of how men contribute to failure of relationships, it turns out to be the women playing all the cards.
The Fatboy show is hosted by James Onen aka Fatboy, Olive, Sarah and Lesham every weekday from 6am to 10am on RX Radio.